On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
