Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Michael Bay diarrhea
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
