Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
