Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
