I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
