Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
