he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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