i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
