I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
