Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just high enough for therapy.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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