You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
