so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Fuck appropriateness.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
