doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
