i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
