"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
