Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
