We tried having a conversation with our noses.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
