never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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