The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Randomize
