okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
