I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
