I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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