Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
