Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
