Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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