Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
