She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize