Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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