so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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