I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
