Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You can't just leave with hair like that
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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