She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
