THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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