Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
