he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
