The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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