You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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