i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
that is very illegal...i love you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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