I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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