hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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