We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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