You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
