Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
