Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
