I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize