so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
