Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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