He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
sex in a hospital.. check
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
