Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
