I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
