My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
