Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
