New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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