I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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