is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize