I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
