I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
