I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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