okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
