I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
