my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
