I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
