Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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