she was so not down for the gang bang
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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